Mick had always imagined that The Homeland Housewares building smelled a little bit like static electricity. It was a dry, metallic aroma, like the ghost of a dead toaster. Mimi crinkled her nose as they entered the front door. Did she smell it, too?
It was an ungodly hour and the place was nearly deserted except for Ted, the night guard. He looked up from his Sudoku for just a moment to give the two the slightest nod of recognition.
They headed down the long, empty hallway to the Chief’s office.
“You think there’s a new Bullet?” asked Mimi.
Mick only shrugged, not wanting to think about the gravity of her question.
They arrived at the office and Mick leaned forward for the retinal scan. The computer confirmed his identity and the doors slid open.
The Chief sat Indian style in the middle of an oriental rug, surrounded by a terrible smelling incense. He opened one eye, then quickly closed it.
“Enter, my friends.”
Mick and Mimi obeyed and sat down on a large, neon blue beanbag chair.
The Chief sat motionless for a moment, then let out a dramatic cough. He stood up and slowly walked over to his window to look out over the city.
“This is a big one, guys.” he said gravely.
Mick felt a lump in his throat. Mimi squeezed his hand.
“We need you two to have another meeting with the power players.”
“Like hell.” said Mick, bitterly.
“Don’t.” said Mimi, squeezing even tighter.
Mick freed himself from her grip, walked over to the Chief and looked him squarely in the eye.
“You listen to me, you son of a bitch. We’ve already shown them how to make bullet-fast meals in the kitchen. We’ve already solved the whitest fucking problems in the world: ‘How do I make guacamole in the woods?’ ‘Why aren’t the smoothies on my boat fresh enough?’. Are you telling me that you have something better? What pathetic incremental piece of crap could your lab monkeys crank out this time?”
The Chief sighed and pressed a bright green button on his desk. A small panel slid open across the room. Inside was a tiny chrome blender with a clock printed on it.
“Mick, Mimi, I am going to show you how to make fresh salsa, creamy Alfredo sauce, and fresh ground coffee…in one second.”