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Mick bit his lip, breaking the skin so that he could taste the coppery vein of blood underneath.

“Bollocks.” he said.

The Chief sighed and shook his head.

“It’s the real deal, Mick. Uses advanced quantum tech from the Russians to fold time-space. Shit gets blended before it even starts. Swear on my mother’s grave”

“Your Mom’s still alive, Chief.”

The Chief chuckled and started to tap a strange rhythm on the window.

“Mimi, would you be dear heart and get some apple slices from the fridge over there? They’re in the crisper.”

Mimi obeyed and brought them over to The Chief’s desk, setting them down nervously.

The Chief walked over to the panel and extracted the tiny blending device. He set it down next to the fruit.

“Try it yourself, kids. Mouth watering applesauce in the blink of an eye.”

Mick scowled at the Chief. This was ludicrous. It was too early for this. His former mentor had just crossed the threshold from Redonkulous to ReDonkeyKong.

He unscrewed the top of the Bullet and began to plop the slices in slowly and deliberately. Mimi looked on with with a fierce intensity. The last slice went in and he closed the cap. Looking down at the blender, Mick had to admit, he was impressed with the chrome finish, the sleek, sexy, modern design, and it’s lightweight components. If nothing else, it would make a good piece of decorative furniture for the hip Generation Yer on the go.

“She is a beaut, isn’t she?” the Chief asked.

Mimi looked at the machine quizzically.

“No cords, no battery pack. What is this thing running on?” she asked.

“Cold Fusion.” the Chief said plainly.

Mick rolled his eyes.

“Just press the button, Mick. Your life will never be the same.”

Mick hovered his finger over the button while giving the chief the skunk eye. He gave it a small tap.

“Oh my god.” said Mimi.

Mick looked down, and the blender was indeed full of nutritious apple sauce that the whole family could enjoy. He wet his boxer briefs, just a little.

“How do you like them apples?” said the Chief.

Mick had always imagined that The Homeland Housewares building smelled a little bit like static electricity. It was a dry, metallic aroma, like the ghost of a dead toaster. Mimi crinkled her nose as they entered the front door. Did she smell it, too?

It was an ungodly hour and the place was nearly deserted except for Ted, the night guard. He looked up from his Sudoku for just a moment to give the two the slightest nod of recognition.

They headed down the long, empty hallway to the Chief’s office.

“You think there’s a new Bullet?” asked Mimi.

Mick only shrugged, not wanting to think about the gravity of her question.

They arrived at the office and Mick leaned forward for the retinal scan. The computer confirmed his identity and the doors slid open.

The Chief sat Indian style in the middle of an oriental rug, surrounded by a terrible smelling incense. He opened one eye, then quickly closed it.

“Enter, my friends.”

Mick and Mimi obeyed and sat down on a large, neon blue beanbag chair.

The Chief sat motionless for a moment, then let out a dramatic cough. He stood up and slowly walked over to his window to look out over the city.

“This is a big one, guys.” he said gravely.

Mick felt a lump in his throat. Mimi squeezed his hand.

“We need you two to have another meeting with the power players.”

“Like hell.” said Mick, bitterly.

“Don’t.” said Mimi, squeezing even tighter.

Mick freed himself from her grip, walked over to the Chief and looked him squarely in the eye.

“You listen to me, you son of a bitch. We’ve already shown them how to make bullet-fast meals in the kitchen. We’ve already solved the whitest fucking problems in the world: ‘How do I make guacamole in the woods?’ ‘Why aren’t the smoothies on my boat fresh enough?’. Are you telling me that you have something better? What pathetic incremental piece of crap could your lab monkeys crank out this time?”

The Chief sighed and pressed a bright green button on his desk. A small panel slid open across the room. Inside was a tiny chrome blender with a clock printed on it.

“Mick, Mimi, I am going to show you how to make fresh salsa, creamy Alfredo sauce, and fresh ground coffee…in one second.”